Ok so I am just going to throw down the disclaimer right here, right now.
I am not saying that divorce is what you need to do if you want a fabulous wardrobe, so hold your horses on ringing that divorce solicitor….
What I am saying however is that they can be symbolic of a new start.
We all lead busy lives, juggling work, business, family or children which means particularly as women we can end up wearing many, many different hats in just one day. I know I wear a variety of ones myself and trying to find an outfit that goes with all those hats can feel overwhelming and is why many of us stick to a tried and tested style formula for most of our lives.
This is however when the term ‘style rut’ tends to rear its head as wearing the same thing and looking the same way everyday can get a little, well boring, but let’s be honest boring is easy especially when changing your hat so many times a day can be overwhelming as it is!
Never mind the fact that we actually begin to forget what the person looked like under all the hats in the first place.
A big shift.
Sometimes this is what is needed to break this rut.
Now this big shift could be a divorce, could be a house move or bereavement. It could even be a milestone birthday or becoming permenopausal!
I have clients who have recently been divorced and they have referenced how they were almost consumed by their previous life ‘hats’ and through the divorce process they were just existing, living, making do to get through.
When they get to the end of it however, they almost feel re-born, new and ready to explore their identity as a single woman who is living her life how she wants.
Now I am going to throw in another disclaimer here, for any woman reading this who may be feeling stuck in a rut with their marriage or wardrobe and feels their identity is lost in there somewhere……divorce may not be the answer!
Might be an idea to speak to a counsellor for advice on that one first!
I do not want to become responsible for an increase in divorce rates across the UK here!
What I am trying to say is that the divorce in this example represents the kick up the bum we need to focus on ourselves and re-energise how we feel about our style. Stop the hats from dominating our outfit choices and embrace who we want to be.
So it may actually be a house move or a significant weight loss, a milestone birthday or maybe you have just reached your limit and had that lightbulb moment on the edge of your bed like I did many years ago, but whatever it is the thing that counts is how you act on it.
A good clear out of the ‘dead weight’ so to speak is the best place to start. This can be a chance to really understand what suits you both in colour, shape and style so that ultimately you can create a wardrobe of clothes you actually want (and will wear!)
The really surprising thing about this is, and I see regularly when going through Wardrobe Edits with clients is once we start to really get rid of the ‘dead weight’ (this could physically or metaphorical here, depending where you are at right now) and create space then this is when the magic happens, when the ‘hats’ are put to one side and their true style identity starts to shine!
A recent client who had sadly lost her husband the year before, said she wanted to understand what suited her as now she was on her own, it was only her view that mattered.
She wanted to dress for herself and explore how that reflected when she looked in the mirror.
Afterwards she said to me,
‘It was great fun sorting through my clothes and I feel very much lighter and more adventurous!!
Adventure! Yes!! Exploring your wardrobe is like a daily adventure and I was so thrilled that we unlocked that for her. It sounds cheesy, I know, I know but come on, surely wearing something fun and frivolous (and you!) is far more exciting and appealing than boring and predictable?
Wardrobe Refreshes can be a great place to start, they are not as intense at Wardrobe Edits, but so can good ol’ Pinterest, some magazines, searching through for some wardrobe inspiration and having an afternoon trying on session.
Embrace the change, embrace the opportunity to create your own hat, not one that is expected of you or is easy.
Go on that adventure!
I am wrapping this blog up with the song playing over and over in my head, seems quite apt for my title so I am going to close on it….
‘I am going to wash that man right outta my hair…I’m gonna wash that main right outta my hair and send him on his waaaay’ (again not implying you should actually get a divorce!)
I just love a good Rogers and Hammerstein sing a long! (Carousel is my ultimate fave…although Julie Andrews will always be my Queen but will leave you with South Pacific)
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